Essay 3

Sam

English

Mr. Salsich

9/28/10

My Favorite:

An Essay About My Passions

TS-My favorite place to spend my time is at one of the most dangerous: the river. It is a place that can be enjoyable, but also a place that can keep you on your toes. It is a place that can be relaxing, but also a place that can kill you. It is the river.

TS-The river is where I am most at home, big or small, deep or shallow. SD- As soon as I make my way into the river, the water raps its arms around my waist. CM- The cold refreshing water always finds a way to rejuvenate me, and restore all my energy. CM- Whenever I feel stale or lethargic, I immediately go to the water; so it can work its magic. SD- The currents are always welcoming, but they keep me on guard. CM-The currents also provide a plentiful supply of fish; which I find irresistible not to catch. CM- The currents can be fun, but they are also a brawny force of nature. SD- The river valley can be deep and intimidating, like the drop off from a cliff. CM- They are steep and rugged, shimmering in the river's spray as the current rips by, baking in the intense heat of the day, daring me to climb down and not slip, holding steady and firm like a statue.(40 words) CM- Sometimes, I think nothing can break their form, whatever is hurled at them they can still stay strong. CS- The river is a place where some of natures strongest forces come together to form a place of shear power.

TS- When I am bored, my fishing pole always brings me something to do. SD- During the long summer days my fishing pole is the only thing that can save me from my boredom. CM- I have found that going out on the boat to fish is much more entertaining than sitting in front of a television. CM- Just being out on the water trying to trick a fish into biting your lure, never gets old. SD- My fishing pole opens up many gateways to entertainment. CM-If it wasn’t for my fishing pole, I would hardly be outside on the water. CM- Instead, I would end up inside moping around with nothing to do. SD- Furthermore, my fishing pole delivers me food. CM- Fishing has provided food for people for hundreds of years. CM- Fresh fish is one of my family's favorite meals. CS-Without a fishing pole, my summer days would be extremely slow and boring. Not to mention I would be very hungry.

Being on the river is my favorite thing in the world. These two necessities play a huge roll in my life. Instead of sitting on the couch, I am out fishing on the river. I feel fishing has enriched my life with nature, happiness and excitement. Being outside on the river, with a rod in my hand, is my true love and passion.

I think I did alright on this essay. The only thing that concerns me is my commas. During this essay I kept second guessing myself as to where and place the commas. I think i really need to work on this. Otherwise, I thought my ideas were well planned out, and fit me perfectly. I would give this essay a C+.