Essay 6 oraganizer

Main Point- Looking Beyond The Mirror

Bell Word- See

Paragraph One-

Hook- What do you see when you look into a mirror?

Comment- When most people look in the mirror they think of physical appearance

Comment-But some may think how cool, or pathetic they are.

Thesis- A lot of people have different perspectives

Paragraph 2-

TS- In TOTC, Lucie, Doc, and Mr. Lorrey all think different of themselves.

Echoes: Gaze, observe

SD- When Lucie gazes into mirror, she notices an attractive women

CM-Carton reveres to her as the “golden doll”.

Cm-Also Miss. Pross raves about her

SD-The doctor may observe his lost life before him

CM-Feeling sorrow for himself

C M-I think most people would feel bad too

SD- Mr. Lorrey may see a man of strict business

CM- Always dressed for success

CM- A older man filled with wisdom

CS- Depends on person

Paragraph 3-

Echoes- glance, notice

TS- I see a lot of things in mirror

SD- At first glance, I notice physical appearance

CM- I stay fixated on all my cons

CM-Then I may notice my pros

SD-Also see my feelings

CM- notice a person that is shy

CM-Wishing I was bold

SD-But sometimes I come out of my shell

CM-Saying to myself that I really need to work on being not shy

CM-Gaining some more self confidence every day

CS- Many pros and cons, need work

Paragraph 4-What do you see when you look in the mirror?

Echo- see

Comment- Do you see a bold person

Comment-or perhaps a ugly person

Restatement- Everyone has a perspective of themselves, either negative or positive.

Sam

10/21/10

English

Mr. Salsich

What Do You See In the Mirror?:

A Essay About What You See When You Look In the Mirror

What do you see when you look into the mirror? When most people look into the mirror they look right at their physical appearance, but others may see their character and actions. Everybody has a different perspective when they look at themselves in the mirror.

TS- In the book Tale of Two Cities, Lucie, Doctor Manette, and Mr. Lorrey all think different of themselves. SD- When Lucie gazes into a mirror, she sees an attractive young women who is liked by many. CM- Mr. Carton is one of her biggest followers and refers to her as “golden doll”. CM- Also, Miss Pross praises her and talks about how no man is worthy of her but her brother. SD When Doctor Manette observes himself in a mirror, he may see a man that has lost twenty years of his life from being held captive. CM- He feels bad for himself because of all the time he has lost with his family. CM- Doctor Manette was robbed from spending time with his loved ones. SD- Mr. Lorrey may see a man of strict business. CM- He is a man that is always dressed for success, never grey, always telling it how it is with no sugar coating. CM- He states he has no feelings, only caring about his business.CS- You look into the mirror, a quick glance is all it takes, a different perspective every day, some days happy with how you look, other days sad about how you look.

When I look into the mirror I see a lot of things, dozens of thoughts streaming through my mind. SD- At first glance I immediately notice my physical appearance, which is filled with pros and cons.CM- Always staying fixated on my acne for too long; wasting my time on something that isn’t worth the hassle.CM- I then notice the positives things, like my height, which always gives me a boost of self confidence. SD- Moving onto detecting my character traits, I see a boy that is extremely shy, always having trouble to come out from underneath his shell, living in his own world where everything is safe and sheltered, trying hard to pull himself out of his safety zone.(subordinate cumulative sentence) CM- I wish I was not a shy person that stays within his shell.CM- I sometimes feel jealous of people who are not shy and can just be themselves.CM- SD- Being envious of other people is the last thing I see when I look into the mirror. CM-When I look at certain people I tend to admire their possessions.CM- For some reason, I believe having material items will somehow enrich my life with happiness. CS- If I wouldn’t worry so much about how I look, or how fancy my life style is, I could realize happiness comes with the simple things life has to offer.

If you looked into the mirror, would you see a bold or outgoing person? Or perhaps a shy, modest person, that is unhappy with how they look. Everyone has a different outlook of themselves, either negative or positive.

I think this could possibly be my best essay of the year. I really took the time to check it over for mistakes. I am hoping I do not have one grammatical errors. I also tried my best on the special sentences. I feel I have met the requirements for them. Overall I took my time, and carefully thought out each sentences. I think I deserve a B for this essay.

essay 5

Sam

English

Mr. Salsich

10/12/10

What Would You Do?:

An Essay About Finding a Lost Parent After Twenty Years.

Being separated from any parent for 20 years and thinking they had died would be hard enough. But then being told they are alive and asked if you want to see them would be an exciting event. I think that moment would be the happiest of my life.

TS- In chapter six of A Tale of Two Cities, Lucie Manette meets her father for the first time in twenty years, Dickens has a number of ways to portray the emotions of this event. SD-One way Dickens shows these emotions is by using suspense. CM- Throughout this chapter the shoemaker inched closer and closer to finally realizing that Lucie Manette was indeed his daughter.CM- Time and time again, he lost interest and went back to making his shoe, “In the midst of the action he went astray, and, with another deep sigh, fell to work at his shoemaking”. (Dickens 46) SD-Another way Dickens shows emotion is by using similies.CM- Dickens states, “His cold white head mingled with her radiant hair, which warmed and lightened it as though it were the light of freedom”.(Dickens 48) This nice sentence proves that Lucie Manette’s dad may still remember her.SD Lastly, Dickens displays emotion by using repetition which is an extremely powerful tool.CM- In an effort to make her dad remember her, she repeats some of the most powerful words in the book, “weep for it, weep for it”. (Dickens 48) CS-Lucie Manette is in a very tough situation, filled with years of crying, filled with years of tears, too much information to absorb, but now, tears of joy, how in the world does Dickens explain this anomalous event so perfectly.

TS- After twenty years of believing my parents were dead, and then have a stranger come up to me and say they are alive, I would have mixed emotions. SD- My first emotion would be shock and disbelief that they are still alive. CM- Knowing they were alive would release a wave of happiness that would completely consume me. CM- I think most people would be completely taken back in shock if their parents that supposedly died twenty years ago are still alive. SD- After I had finally taken in the situation, I would be mad. CM-Missing twenty years of fun memories with my parents would get me angry. CM- All I would be able to think about is all the great times we could of had, and how somebody stole those moments away from me. SD- Since I haven’t seen them in twenty years, my last emotion would be anxiousness. CM-Waiting to reunite with them after all that time would be harder than falling asleep on Christmas Eve. CM- I don’t know how I could function through the day knowing I would soon see my thought to be dead parents. CS I would be in shock that my parents were still alive, a rush of anger would flash into me, mad at the person that stole them from me, robbing me of precious memories that could have been, drowning me in anxiousness, and holding me back from seeing my parents.

If someone came to you and said your parents that died 20 years ago are still alive, what would you do? Would you jump up in excitement, or be shocked with surprise? All these emotions were running through Lucie Manette when she learned her father was still alive.

Self Assessment- I think I did good on this essay because I worked hard and checked over my writing numerous times. I believe, since I took my time, and carefully checked my work, I will have no mistakes. My week point that I need to work on is my commas. I still struggle on finding out where to put them. I think I deserve a B- for this essay.

martha's vineyard

Sam Godfrey

English

Mr. Salsich

10/11/10

Martha’s Vineyard: A Trip To Remember

Day 1- Today started off very slow. The bus ride was by far the worst ride of my life. First, the bus was completely full, so there were two kids per seat. Second, it was very hot and sticky. Lastly, I couldn’t fit all the way in the seat. After the torturous ride, we arrived at Woods Hole Aquarium. The seals and other fish exhibits were extremely interesting and informational. After that we arrived at Woods Hole Oceanographic Museum. This place was very nice and was very informational. Watching the short film about “Alvin” was very interesting, even though we had already heard about it. The highpoint of the day was the ferry ride. Being on the deck with the wind and rain burning my face felt really nice, I really look forward to the ferry ride back home. After a long day of traveling and visiting museums, it was nice to get back and play an intense game of chess with Jeff. I can’t wait for dinner.

POEM- The ferry abruptly jerks into gear, sending me forward with a slight nudge. As the ferry gains speed I make my way to the bow of the boat. I am one of the few to venture out into the cold raw weather. The fierce wind and piercing water stings my face. I have never felt so good.

Day 2-Today was a very fun day filled with adventure. Our first stop of the day was at Felix Neck. I truly enjoyed drawing a picture of a spotted turtle. Learning about different eco-systems was fun too. After our time inside we left the comfort of the facility to go out into the pouring rain. Since I had my rain jacket on I had a lot of fun. Next, we headed back to the hostile for lunch and a lesson on glaciers. After our lunch and lesson we headed out to Long Pound. The Long Pond dirt road was filled with very deep puddles. At one point the water was over the hood of the bus. After a quick walk out to the beach we saw a seal. It felt nice to be out on the ocean with the salty sea breeze.

Hykoo- It is pouring rain,

I am soaked to the bare bone

I am really cold.

POEM-The wind is whipping. The sand is flying. And the waves are crashing, showing their power, daring me to step in. One wave comes slamming down, sending a cloud of salty spray onto my face, roaring just like thunder.

Day 3- Today was our last day, and one of the best. We first went out to Poly Hill Arboretum where we learned about trees from around the world. I found it super interesting that Poly grew trees from all over Asia, and South America. After that we went out for a nice slice of pizza. Next, we went out to Oak Bluffs town where we had the chance to shop and eat ice cream. Finally, we headed out to Aquinnah. At Aquinnah we learned about the bluffs and how they were formed. Then we watched a nice sunset. Although it was cold and windy it was a nice trip. This adventure to Martha’s Vineyard was super fun!

POEM- I am small.

I am small compared to the massive clay cliffs. They tower above me, peering down into my eyes. They hold firm and steady in the harsh elements. I am small compared to the ocean. This mighty force of nature pounds and pulls the ground. As I look down the beach the ocean seems to be filled with diamonds. I am small compared to the brightly lit sky. Hundreds of color shades light up the coast, warming my face. I am small.